Luckily my friend will give her tank for free..

just need to clean them so it will be clear..
just few questions..
1. is it ok that i use a 3 way pack (customize filter) Biological Foam Topmost layer, anti-amonia beads with bio foam, and bio balls (plastic looklike) on bottom layer). Additional 2 undergravel filters
2. which is which,. fine sand or colored pebbles? (my wife wants a fine sand but my fish wants to eat sinking feeds, im afraid to use fine sand for my o'z to swallow some sand..) do i trained my fish to eat float ones? or do i use colorred pebbles?
3. is it ok to use some glass solutions to clean my tank before setting it up? like dishwashing solution (feels good on glass) or glass cleaner?..
i need opinions.. Im afraid to loose this baby
Thank you in advance